I’ve written several posts about my depression, PTSD, fibromyalgia, etc. Writing and sharing does help, and not just me but sometimes others out there that are dealing with the same thing. Just knowing someone else truly gets what you’re going through can be a comfort.
We have to take care of ourselves, both physically and mentally. As a mother that isn’t always easy to do. We tend to look out for our families, our children, husband, parents, friends, literally everyone else first, and all too often don’t leave enough time for ourselves. If we do take some time we often feel guilty, like we’re taking time away from others, or taking time that could be better spent completing a task. In reality, all we’re taking away from is our physical and mental health, depleting ourselves, not considering that there is a breaking point and we are speeding up reaching it.
I am SO guilty of this. I have reached said breaking point. I have way more on my plate than I should have and I have mostly done it to myself. I have raised four children, home schooled all four, while obtaining an online college degree, running the office of my husband’s business, writing two poetry books and a frugal living book, buried both of my parents and all but two of my 12 siblings, a set of grandparents, taken in other people’s teenagers and helped raise them, had a home burn to the ground, been assaulted, and am now raising my small grandson. My husband is a saint to have been by my side with all of this, not to mention a mental snap a few years ago.
I have always been proud of being my father’s daughter, strong, stubborn, competant. But what I failed to acknowledge was that I’m also my mother’s daughter – hot tempered, nervous, and a worrier. Through my depression I have failed to grasp that my mother had depression and anxiety, a fact that, had I grasped that, I may have been more aware of my own symptoms. My mother’s was never truly diagnosed, her pcp just prescribed her “nerve medicine”. I never realized what the medicine was she was taking. As it turns out these two conditions can be hereditary – according to Stanford Medicine, “Heritability is probably 40-50%, and might be higher for severe depression. This could mean that in most cases of depression, around 50% of the cause is genetic, and around 50% is unrelated to genes (psychological or physical factors).” That is a key fact that is important to know, and for one’s healthcare provider to know.
So for me, I’m making a plan. I’m taking a “me day” today, and I will be taking them more often in the future. I will take time to meditate, calm the mind, and just take care of myself for a change. If I don’t I am not going to be able to properly take care of my family, this little boy that needs me, nor am I going to be able to teach him that self care is important, crucial even.
If you are an abuse or/and trauma survivor its that much more important. It’s also so much more important that you reach out and get therapy, to not only talk and work through what happened, but to learn PROPER coping skills, and also to make absolute sure you have fully dealt with what happened. You also need someone that you can talk to or see for therapy if you realize down the road that you didn’t fully process and deal with it.
To your mental and physical health, until next time…
Source:
Stanford Medicine: https://med.stanford.edu/depressiongenetics/mddandgenes.html#:~:text=That%20is%20the%20case%20for,(psychological%20or%20physical%20factors).
The Green Lady 